Beat the February Blahs

Hello, it’s me, February, and I’m sick and tired of being labeled the worst month of the year by people like comedian Lewis Black. Black once said, “Valentine’s Day doesn’t belong in February. It’s the most depressing month of the year. How do we know that? Because we made it shorter and it still seems <expletive deleted> longer.”

Yeah, I know, in the month prior to me, January, you are still recovering from your Christmas and New Year’s hangovers. You use January to get back into your routines that were disrupted by the holidays. As for next month, March, well, that has the first day of spring within it, and everybody just loves spring!

So here I am, the most reviled month of the year in which the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t quite yet visible. But it’s not my fault. I can’t control the weather! I can’t make those low hanging clouds disappear! I can’t ensure that damn ground hog doesn’t see its shadow! What kinda screwed up tradition is that anyway? I mean, who the hell listens to a giant rodent?!

Anyway, I thought I’d get in touch with all of you and offer some suggestions on how to enjoy my presence and maybe alter my reputation in the process. So here they are, in no particular order:

1. Remodel a room. I mean, you’re stuck inside anyway, right? And you don’t need to break the bank in order to remodel. Brighten up the dining room with some new paint, change the look of your living room with some new window treatments, or liven up the bedroom (not that way, you pervert) with some new sheets, pillows and bedspread.

2. Liven up the bedroom. Yes, I mean that way, you pervert. You’re stuck inside anyway, right? Get rid of the kids, light some candles, wear something sexy, administer or receive a massage, give those new sheets a work out, cuddle, explore, experiment. And not just on my 14^th day, either, but on the 2^nd and 4^th and 7^th and 10^th and…get the idea?

3. Use Netflix and get hooked on a premium channel series. But don’t do it alone. Turn into a kind of video book club with your friends…make it as serious or light-hearted as you like, so long as it’s done on a regular and continuous basis throughout my 28 (or 29) days. And it doesn’t have to be a current series. Go back through old seasons of The Sopranos, or Mad Men, or Band of Brothers, or Dexter, or Veep. Whatever you and your friends can agree on. Just have something to look forward to (see #2) and I’ll fly by, I promise.

Yeah, I know, there was nothing about exercise, or getting outside, or pampering yourself, those have been written about to death, but if that’s what floats your boat, don’t let me stop you. Enjoy and I’ll talk to you again in twelve months!

February, MagicKitchen.com blogger