How to Care for Aging Parents

Age happens…to all of us, and this immutable fact can make caring for elderly parents a bit of a challenge.

It can be extremely difficult to witness the gradual mental and physical deterioration of the people we love most, especially when we have vivid memories of them working hard, both mentally and physically, to provide for us when we were young.

Yes, people age differently.  Hell, the oldest person in America, Richard Overton, recently passed at the age of 112 and smoked up to twelve cigars a day until the end.

Since age affects people in varying ways and since every person’s financial situation also varies, there is no “one size fits all” method to caring for aging parents.  That being the case, the first step in providing care would be to assess their needs, to include their physical, medical and mental requirements.

While conducting this assessment be honest with them and yourself.  If they can no longer drive in a safe manner, do not try to convince yourself otherwise.  If they can no longer tend to their financial obligations, accept that fact.  Remember, their well-being is your number one priority.

Mobility is probably the most important factor when assessing your elderly parent’s physical needs and this includes more than their ability to get up and down a flight of stairs.  Do they qualify for handicap access?  Can they take care of their personal hygiene?  Are they able to dress themselves without assistance?  Can they prepare and cook food for themselves?  If they are living in their own private home, should you (and they) consider an independent or assisted living community or even a nursing home?

As for your aging parent’s medical needs, this also entails a thorough and frank assessment.  What meds are the taking on a regular basis?  Are they taking their meds as prescribed?  Are there any undiagnosed medical issues?  Are they visiting their physician(s) on a regular basis?  If they don’t have a care giver, do they require one?  Are there safety hazards that need addressed in their home?

As we all know, our mental capacity diminishes as we age, as does our physical capacities.  As a result, the mental abilities of our parents also need to be assessed.  Can the still make proper decisions that don’t put themselves or others at risk?  Can they properly take care of their financial needs (budget money, pay bills etc.)?  How is their short- and long-term memory?  Should you seek medical treatment if their mental skills have diminished dramatically?

Obviously, each case is different and there are many more questions that will require answers as you assess the needs of your elderly parents, but this assessment is an essential first step to providing them with the best care that’s financially possible (finances is a topic unto itself).  Once you have assessed their needs, here are some websites that will help those of you caring for elderly parents:

www.benefits.gov is the official site for government benefits that your parents may be eligible for.  It provides access to over 1,000 assistance and benefit programs.

www.n4a.org is the Area Agency on Aging.  It offers you information on federally mandated agencies in your city, county and/or state.  It’s a wonderful resource for specific services offered where your parents reside.

www.ncoa.org is the National Council on Aging’s official website.  It provides visitors to a variety of information from healthy living to economic security.  It also offers access to its benefits and economic checkup services where you can search for benefits and programs that assist the elderly.