Velveeta Cheese – It’s Not Real Food

Cheese Store- Find One and Start Buying Real Cheese!
Cheese Store- Find One and Start Buying Real Cheese!

If you’re looking over your shopping list before heading to the store and you’ve got Velveeta Cheese circled and highlighted as a must-have item, cross it off your list right now. It’s not real cheese, and it’s not even real food.

But, but, but…”I love Velveeta Cheese,” you say. Your eyes glaze over with a look of bewilderment. Your memory races through countless Velveeta-inspired creations you’ve consumed like macaroni dripping with cheese, hunks of bread dipped in cheesy, bubbly fondue, and chocolate fudge with Velveeta Cheese as the secret ingredient. Your mouth begins to salivate like Pavlov’s dog at the very thought of tearing away the foil wrapper on a new block of Velveeta Cheese.

When the idea of saying goodbye to Velveeta Cheese forever enters your mind, you get defensive. Deep down, you’ve always known this edible door stop as heavy as a brick was nothing short of a heart attack in a box. Seriously, do you even have to ask if this stuff is healthy?

Walk into any weight loss clinic in America, and you’re bound to find a block of body fat used to give people a visual of what packing around too much weight really looks like. Oddly enough, a carefully molded block of body fat looks a lot like that block of Velveeta Cheese you were thinking about buying.

“But it’s made from milk,” you murmur. Hardly, it’s only 2 percent milk and the rest is largely a mixture of saturated fat, cholesterol and sodium. These are three ingredients that give dietitians nightmares, remind doctors to keep their tools sharpened for an endless procession of open heart bypass surgeries, and block your arteries like Germany’s soccer team protecting their goal from Argentina.

Need a little more food for thought? Velveeta Cheese is sold as a “pasteurized prepared cheese product.” It’s not a dairy product, and it’s not even real food. It’s an entirely processed substance created in a lab and designed to entertain your palate. And despite what you may have been telling yourself for years, it isn’t healthy. It’s time for this fake cheese to melt away and never return.

Evan, MagicKitchen.com blogger

Note: if you need to eat a great warm cheese dip with tortilla chips, try this one: Proper Queso Dip – from someone who agrees with us, the very funny Marie Porter