The Seven Best Gifts for New Parents

As those of you with children can attest, there is a difference from being a NEW parent and being a parent for the second or third time.  When you’re a new parent, everything is, well, new (and scary).  Yes, you can read all you want about being a new parent, but reading/preparing and experiencing are two very different things.

By the time you have any additional children, the newness has worn off.  You no longer freak out about inconsequential stuff like projectile vomiting or having to change four diapers over the course of 45 minutes.

Thus, there are slight variations in the gifts you purchase for new parents as opposed to those for experienced ones.  Generally speaking, new parents might appreciate more practical items while experienced ones probably would enjoy some humorous or non-baby related items.  But that is not a hard and fast rule.

Anyway, I’ve wasted enough of your time.  Here’s the list of the best gifts for new parents.

1. Hands-free baby sling.  Whether it’s Baby Bjorn or Baby K’tan, this item is essential for all new parents.  It keeps baby snuggled close to mom or dad (or an acceptable surrogate) while permitting the parent to carry luggage, groceries or fight off super villains.
2. The Baby Shusher.  Yes, “Shusher” is now a noun.  Sample sentence: “The anxious new father heard his baby fussing, but the Baby Shusher calmed him down in seconds.”  This handy device uses the human voice to “shush” a sleep-fighting baby and mimics the “shush” sound of rushing blood and other in-utero sounds baby heard for months while inside mom.
3. Burrito Baby.  Swaddling has been the rage for years in the world of new-borns with good reason.  It comforts an infant while being away from the soothing arms of a parent in a manner similar to a burrito.  Why not combine the two into a Baby Burrito?  This gift combines practicality and humor into a single item.
4. A Baby Lounger.  Sometimes, you just gotta lounge and infants are no different.  This lounger permits baby and parent to lounge simultaneously as it prevents baby from rolling away during the lounge-phase.  Parents are on their own when it comes to the rolling problem.
5. Delivered meals.  Look, harried new parents do not have time to shop for, prepare and cook a family meal every night of the week.  That’s why home-delivered meals from MagicKitchen.com make the perfect new baby gift.  As for the baby food, we’ll leave that to the parents and Gerber’s.
6.  Yep, you can now turn a new-born into a respectable 19^th century saloon bartender with the mustachifier pacifier.  Why calm and sooth a baby with a boring, everyday pacifier when you can have some fun at baby’s expense?
7. Your time.  Present the new parents with a gift certificate good for a few nights of your baby-sitting services, assuming you know what you’re doing as new parents are notoriously anxious about leaving baby for the first time.  This way, the new parents know what they’re getting in their babysitter, unlike those baby-sitting apps out there.

You can’t go wrong with any of the new parent gift ideas listed above.  Simply tailor the gift to the perceived need of the new parents and their freak-out level about having a tiny, inarticulate, bowel-moving bundle of joy in the house.